In the car this morning, my left ass cheek flexed and warbled involuntarily. It is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.

Yesterday morning I exhausted the hell out of everything beneath my waist. Lunges, squats, steps, leg extensions ... and everything is tender today. I spent 45 minutes doing this and while I didn't hate every moment of it, I wasn't happy, either. But I'm plowing through because I know it's good for me, and I know if I can just work in two weight lifting sessions a week, I can stop feeling so guilty about having flabby arms and a saggy (albeit slightly less saggy since I've been running so much)ass.

I have this picture up in my "Friends Only" section of Flickr - it is from a picture of me and my boyfriend from over the weekend and we're keeping his face and real name off of the Web site for now, with the exception of my friends, obviously - and I mentioned how much I hate my arms. And I didn't say it so my friends could bolster me up and cheer me on, though it was nice to have them be so supportive because, hell, that's what friends do. Rather I said it because in the context of talking to my friends it seems safe to just say that I'm less-than-thrilled with a particular body part of mine, in spite of how much work I've done on my body and how much I've accomplished. They won't chastise me or think I'm fishing or get concerned that I have some body image issues, beyond those that I've already been clear about, or ... whatever.

The biggest reason I mentioned it was because while I don't hate my arms - I mean, hell, I'm rocking the strapless top in public so I can't be that self-conscious or caring about their state - I am frustrated with how weak and soft they are in comparison to other facets of my body. My endurance, my legs, my mind ... it's strange to feel so strong and yet have irrefutable evidence that perhaps not everything is as such and I still have work to do.

This is why I am making myself do the one thing I hate more than anything, twice a week. My arms aren't going to get stronger on their own, nor will my calf muscles, my back, etc. It takes me being just as dedicated to fitting in those workouts as it does eschewing a pile of cheese fries. And I hate having to eschew cheese fries.

The last area I need to work on is my flexibility. I have been woefully lazy on doing my yoga routine at night - Only 30 minutes! I don't have 30 minutes before bed? - and need to try and do that at least three times a week. I'll hurt something if I don't stretch out some more.

Lastly, on the suggestion of other Turbo Jam-obsessed readers, I ordered the Fat Blaster, 3T and Cardio Party Mix 3 DVDs. They were a little pricier than I would have liked, but I don't want to get bored by the one I have from playing it so much. If you would have told me a year ago I would have been all girl crushing on some DVD instructor I would have laughed at you, but people?

I love Chalene. God help me, but I would totally like to go have cocktails with her and giggle all night about ... I don't know. Something.

Posted by Erin at 01:03 PM | filed under: Ouch