I've been playing a horrible round of mindfuck with myself lately in terms of getting to the gym.

And when I say "lately," I mean "this week." And I need to specify that for my own purposes because it's not as if this mindfucking - which is an awful word, really, and perhaps from here on out we should call it "mindlovin'" - as been going for weeks upon weeks, I mean GOOD LORD ERIN it's just been a spate of time that's thrown you off why must you constantly overthink everything?!!?

Ahem. As I was saying.

I was way too in my own head this week about getting to the gym. Honestly, it was horrible. I spent an enormous amount of time beating myself up about working out which, as we all know, results in no working out at all. I had an inordinately busy week and somehow, for some reason, couldn't get my butt in gear to make time for the gym.

I did manage to wake up at 5:40 a.m. on Thursday to make it to spin class. That was it. I did go to the gym yesterday but I completely forgot that in order to get a bike for the 9 a.m. spin class, you have to get there yesterday. I actually walked in with my clips and towel when one girl haughtily said, "Ahem. All the bikes are taken."

I'd left my running shoes at home had no choice but to turn around.

This morning I was no one's fool and stood my ground for 25 minutes which guaranteed me a bike. I don't know what it was about the girl who got snippy with me yesterday, but fired something inside me today that I wasn't going to be left behind for another class. And I wasn't. And lo it was a lovely class and the instructor was lovely and the music was lovely so bring on the cheesy sausage stars during the Super Bowl tonight!

Mostly I realize that it was just a rough week, that we all have them, that I have to remember to forgive myself and keep going. To stop overanalyzing and get in the game. I think what holds me back so much still is how hard I know it's going to be when I get to the gym and how not hard it used to be, before I let life and excuses take over. I have to remind myself that the only way to correct that problem is to keep at it, to keep moving, and it'll get easier.

For now I'm proud of myself for making getting a bike at class my biggest priority today. It gives me a little bit of hope I suppose.

A big "Hi!" to everyone coming over from O Magazine. I haven't seen the article yet - I suppose if you're a subscriber you've gotten your March issue and you've seen the article that me and my blog are featured in. I have no idea really what it says in there and I did the interview back in November so I can barely remember what I actually said.

Here's to hoping I didn't make an ass out of myself ...

Posted by Erin at 12:58 PM | filed under: Random

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