Part of what tends to trip me up is the whole notion that getting back into this means I should be picking right up where I left off. And I can't. Physically - and perhaps mentally - I just can't.

This is what my workouts looked a little more than a year ago:

*Triathlon training, at 90 minutes a pop, twice a week.
*Personal training sessions, at 60 minutes a pop, twice a week.
*Spinning class, at 50 minutes a pop, once a week.
*Bikram yoga, at 90 minutes a pop, once a week.

Seriously? I kicked ass. I wish I would have had the appreciation for that kind of work I was doing, back when I was doing it. Funny thing is? I still thought, in some ways, that I could have been doing more, not to mention the fact that I was still unhappy with how I looked. Fifteen pounds, 15 months, and one exhausted body later, I know differently. Never again will I not practice what I preach.

One of the things I was forever telling those who'd ask, is that a person should never feel as though starting a fitness routine should entail Herculean attempts:

"You need to start slowly. Work those things in gradually and don't ask the world of yourself right away. You're more likely to stick with it if you don't get frustrated from the start."

While I may have kicked some serious athletic ass in the past, and damn near been able to leap small buildings in a single bound, I'm not even remotely capable of that right now. If the mood hits me, I can run 3.5 miles on the treadmill or outside. If it doesn't, I can barely get through 20 minutes on the elliptical without becoming exhausted. When examining this behavior, it's easy to see the moments where I just give up - the points where I get frustrated. And instead of realizing that tomorrow is another day, and appreciating any effort I make, I become upset and slack off for a week. I set up these woefully high expectations for myself, based on a level of fitness that was the direct result of years of time and effort.

The notion that I can just get right back up on that horse is ludicrous.

It's defeating to realize that I'm practically starting from Square One, but it's more important to focus on the fact that I'm starting at all. So instead of trying to adhere to this mind-boggling, overwhelming workout schedule, I'm rethinking my strategy.

To start, I'm hitting the gym three times a week, the three days I can go to my gym. That's it. All I need to ask of myself is that I workout hard on those days and stick to eating well. Anything more right now just baffles me. When next week comes, I'll add a day. Of something. A Firm DVD, an extra run with my dog ... something.

But I need to stop this old way of thinking or I'll never get back into a groove. I'm just setting myself up for a loss. And not the kind that'll have me looking better in my Seven jeans, either.

Posted by Erin at 07:29 PM | filed under: Random

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