On one of my walks with Glinny last week, I happened to walk by a home that had been newly renovated but, like so many homes, had been on the market for a very long time. As I passed by, I realized the big sign posted out front, which had been bragging for months about features such as marble something-or-others and stainless-steel doohickeys, was gone. I looked closer at the house and saw a flickering light coming from the basement level windows.

I quickly glanced inside and saw a couple sitting on what looked like an old, ratty couch, watching television on a very large screen, entangled in each others limbs, flipping through the channel selections. By all accounts the rest of the house was very empty, and to think about a house that expensive, that massive, that empty, it immediately makes you wonder where people's priorities are.

But I have learned that you don't get the luxury of questioning other people's priorities. Besides, even from that quick look, those two looked pretty content in that big house, in that little basement.

*****

The other day, I was at the doctor's office and ran into an elderly couple I've seen in there before. Which officially means I'm old and sickly, because, really? Who remembers the faces of those who share her doctor? Only those who are at the doctor all of the time.

They're both in Jazzy scooters and they both sort of look like each other in that way that only people who have been together an eternity can be. It was hard to tell who was there for what, or if both had appointments, until the woman asked the following question:

"Do you remember the name of my medicine for my constipation?" She was the one filling out the paperwork.

He paused and said, "No I don't, baby," then went back to his magazine.

Several moments later she let out a gentle, muted cough and he immediately looked up to watch her. It was all very protective and instinctual. She smiled at him as she covered her mouth, he smiled back, and again went back to reading. It felt entirely too intimate for a general practitioner's office on a Wednesday afternoon. I was an interloper, no matter how unintentional.

In those instances you begin to understand how it happens, how two peoples' lives can merge to become one, how two people end up looking alike, even. It's born out of all of that routine and care and kindness, each serving as a witness to the life of the other, mirroring that life back to the other.

*****

Last night, under somewhat a certain amount of duress, I ended up at Excalibur (watch the music) by 11 p.m. on a perfectly fine Friday night, one in which I should have been, by all accounts, in bed, but was fully done up in about three shades of eye makeup and four shades of eyeliner because my fiance had to be there on assignment for work.

We both talked about how, when we were younger, we'd drive into the city, past Excalibur and assume that, due to the line and its proximity to everywhere we were familiar with, it was the hottest place in Chicago. As locals know, it takes just one trip there in your early twenties to reveal how incredibly horrible and cheesy this place is and, if you're lucky, you'll have two amazingly horrible and cheesy nights there in your lifetime and never return ...

... unless you're fiance tells you that you're going with him for the story he has to write for the magazine. To be fair, I once made him come with me there for a freelance piece I did for his magazine, but only for the span of one drink, so I could interview some guy who said he'd be there, and certainly not to dance. He made me dance, you guys, and I can't dance.

We stood back near the main level dance floor and tried to ascertain if the group of kids - and they were kids, and they even had that one girl who was terribly drunk already and gyrating up against all of her girlfriends, trying to get the crowd to believe that she was going to start making out with any one of them.

My friend Jenni, who is an actual lesbian, calls those girls "Queer by Beer."

The boys didn't have a chance, though they tried, and while at first I wanted to poke a whole mess of fun at these girls, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was them ten years ago, though not Ms. Queer by Beer, and traveling in a pack of people, getting drunk, dancing, making a complete fool of yourself in public, is what you need to do to figure things out for yourself, to appreciate a night on a couch on a Friday night watching TV, in bed by 11 p.m., sober.

"Thank you for marrying me," Scott said, putting his arm around my waist, laughing as he watched those girls.

"Oh you're welcome," I said. "But I was them once. You're just getting the improved version."

*****

Thanks for the emails and IM's and Twitters and MySpace messages and Facebook posts, everyone. We're so touched by the well-wishes from everyone. Even our alma mater, and the reason for our meeting, gave us a shout out yesterday. Most of you know I'm already a total shit about email, but I'll get back to everyone.

Thanks a lot, though. We're really happy too.

Posted by Erin at 02:19 PM | filed under: Chicago , Odds and ends , Wedding, marriage, love, etc.