Oh my God. My friend, Jenni, sent me this and another track off of the soon-to-be-released Tegan and Sara and holy crap.

I cannot stop listening. It's ridiculous. I blame Jenni.

I'm having a very hard time being patient for the July 24 release. This feels like a theme song, a barabic yawp ... it's incredibly awesome. It makes me wish I was angry and overcoming something huge in my life because then I could find a way to appreciate it even more.

We're not going to see Tegan and Sara when they roll through town because tickets are ridiculously expensive. Jenni and I were less than pleased. The last time we saw the girls, in the Fall of 2005, at the Metro, our worlds were very different places and tickets only cost us $20. If that.

I remember that night. Everything was changing. For everyone around me. I was getting frantic phone calls from friends. I was reading waay too much into the drunken scribblings on bathroom stall doors because I was looking for anything, something, someone, to point me into the direction I needed to be going in because I couldn't manage it myself.

I was very unsettled. It all felt like I was living inside of snow globe that was being perpetually shaken. I drank a lot. During this time, I went through three, full-sized bottles of whiskey in about a month, on my own.

I don't recommend that method of coping to anyone. You end up gaining 20 pounds and it will take you forever to get it off.

Last night, as we took a long walk after dinner through my neighborhood, Glinny in tow, taking in all of the beautiful noise being made by everyone around us, talking about how our day went, I realized that I was OK again. My life has a gentle rhythm to it and it's peaceful and lovely and I fought hard to get it this way.

However, I can't listen to that Tegan and Sara album without remembering so vividly the fight, so I don't listen to it often. At some point, I made the decision that I had to forgive myself and get on with it all.

"Forget, forgotten, I am moving past this/giving notice/I have to go"

Maybe it's apt after all.