"I mention this because I think it was symbolic of larger issues in my life, and possible in yours, too. It's hard to cut out something you've built, even when your instinct tells you that it's time. Relationships, jobs, whatever. You don't cut hurtful things from your life, perhaps because you fear the void that's left behind. You allow yourself to be made to feel small because the alternative might be to feel like nothing at all.

I don't have any answers, not really, except that no matter how much the cutting hurts, the void is probably better for you than the pain. The void is opportunity. You might fill it with something worse, of course; God knows I've done that. But at the very least, there's that old "pleasurable irritation of the new" that I've mentioned in the past. Broken hearts fade. Tough choices make sense one day.

I'm not a happy person right now, not by a long shot. But I might be one day. It's worth getting up the next morning for, anyway, that possibility. I mean, what else is there?"

Rob Rummel-Hudson
More Clarity
June 15, 2005

My friend, Rob, is finally working on the book that's been inside of him for years now. I can't tell you how proud I am of him. I totally owe him an email telling him so -- Sorry about that, Rob, I sort of suck these days. I'll write you back this week, I promise. -- but I am. Especially since I remember the night he and I spent in January when the entire Rum-Hud clan was here, talking about this.

We were up until about 2 a.m., maybe later.

I have always admired Rob's writing, even before I considered him a friend. Few people really speak to me the way he does and right now, at this moment, what he wrote above, was something I needed to hear so desperately. Considering how well-received his journal entries are, I can't imagine what that book of his will do for people when it finally hits shelves.

Which it totally will.

Posted by Erin at 06:35 AM | filed under: Blog move